Client Service Professional T-Shirts

"Now that's what I call customer satisfaction."

"Apart from it being a **** pile of ***** with no **** idea about ****, were you happy with the service today?"

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"This is our soft opening."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'How would you like your toast?'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Communication

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Social Worker

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Our Troubled Chowders

'My after-dinner mint was bigger than my steak.'