Classroom Reality Checker Pillows

"My students aren't nearly as interested and studious as the ones on the school website."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

"It's going to be one of those days."

The Expert

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

Two computers, smaller one labeled DATA, the larger one, HYPE

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

Conspiracy theories

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

'Don't give up the day job...'

Newly Qualified Teacher.

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'