Classical Beauty Aficionado Gifts

"My new boyfriend is absolutely gorgeous; body like a Greek statue."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Shampoo.

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

New Twenty Blades

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"