City Tour Guide T-Shirts

"My mother always says that. she always says 'You have to be a little bit crazy to live in New York.' Mother is a little crazy, but she doesn't live in New York. She lives in Nishnabotna, Missouri."

King Kong Takes a Personal Day

'Go three blocks straight ahead to Mugger's Lane, then past an open-air drug market....'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

The Vineyard

Tourists

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Culture Saturday

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'Now that's an afro!'

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Sparkling Water

Fishing sign.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Tourists and their Pets.

Snowmen Around The World...

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

'Echo Tourism'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."