City Soul Seeker Gifts

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Felix Mendelssohn

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Unguided imagery

Tiny Visions

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Zenemies.

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Astral Projection

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"