City Life Lover Gifts

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'I've stopped going out at night. Too dangerous.'

Progress.

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

The Annual Running of the Cabs

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Ok, on three! The guy in the white suit."

'Ludgate Hill'

I wonder what Pantone chips the artist used.

Sick Building Syndrome

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! If I may have just a moment of your time. My name is edward, and I'll be sitting here reading the paper with my mouth shut. Thank you for your time, have a good evening, and God bless!"

"Penthouse duplex, East Sixties, three bedrooms, two baths, solarium, sauna, two thousand square feet, terrace, bird feeder, two and a half million."

Between pub and bookie: 'Very sought-after position.'

Zipper apartment blocks.

'I saw you stop in a yellow box, and the council has outsourced fine collection to me.'

Bus of Fools

Parachutist lands on commuter in the street

'In return would you please spend some of my money on a haircut?' (man to long-haired mugger)

"On a clear day, you could see forever!"

Condom Delivery

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Rhapsody in Blue.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

Love linked

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

No Immediate Danger

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."