City Joke Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Great, but where are they going to get the money to pay for them?"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Cars.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cook complaining to milkman

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Chugger

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh