Citation Collector Mugs

'20,231 Google Citations...Therefore I am.' Descartes in the computer age.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Before the Internet

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Say hello to my little friend."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Board Game Hunter

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Shakespeare Street

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

Larry's Literary Market

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'