Cinematic Critic Prints

Based On A True Story

Roger Ebert, RIP

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

'All movie ideas have been done to death. Please go home and play some cards. The management.'

'That movie did certainly seem to touch a nerve.'

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Dude, that was the best superhero movie ever!"

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

"Believe me, you're not the first guy who tried to impress a date by saying the book was better than the movie not knowing it was never a book."

After Three Hours Standing in a Random Basement. . .

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

"Bloody hell!"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!