Cinema Screenowner T-Shirts

"I bought an old screen from a movie theater for our entertainment room. Getting it in the door and down the stairs may be a challenge."

'There's nothing on.'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Binge Watch

Now Playing at the Europlex

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

To-Let Town Centre Map

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

Welcome to Hollywood

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Outskirts of town with sign: 'Entering Centerville - a town without a film festival.'

The Odd Couple.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"All the better to ignore you with."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"Please do not panic. You're only required to turn off your mobile device during the movie."

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

Godzilla vs. The Angry Movie Executives

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'