Cinema Satirist Gifts

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

Roman Polanski to the Rescue

If Movies Were Marketed Like Politicians

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"What do the know!"

'Not more military cutbacks!'

'I checked our database. The only movie actors who have your disease are unknowns with minor roles in crummy films.'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

"I thought it was a little campy."

"Yes, this is a pirated video. How could you tell?"

"They used the ultimate weapon to drive me away. Taxes."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Occu-Pie Mars

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

They're Not Just That Into It

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Torturing the English Language

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

No-Work Orange

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Ghostwriting the Bible

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.