Cigars And Coffee T-Shirts

Roberto Benigni.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Wifi in Hell

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Waiting for retirement.

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

All-Day Breakfast

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'You've had enough!'

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Gag - a graphic novel

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

Thank you for the wedding present.

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

Dateline - Caf

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Peter Lorre caricature

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Relax. It's from the cappuccino.'

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

'This decaf's lousy.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."