Church Sermon Satirists Mugs

First Church of 100% Donation Rate: Featuring Sermons That Name Names!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'Even More Disciples'

The ten ammendments

Bishops Snooker

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

Excommunicate Me.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'I appreciate you enthusiasm...but please stop doing the Wave.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'