Church History Buff Pillows

The bells!

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'Dutch Reform Church, One of God's little jokes'

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

'No I am sorry we don't have any vacancies, the Hunchback of St Mary Bedes under the willow doesn't have the right ring to it.'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

"I just got the word from the Pope - We've go ttwo weeks to comply with the Nicene Creed."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

The Great Drywall of Sheboygan.

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Thomas Cranmer

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Pope Benedict 16th.

"Better get out a press release this has nothing to do with Catholicism."

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

Elephant and Castle

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

"Sure, but Mrs. Noah did make some design changes while you were out collecting beasties."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

John Newman

Centerville.

Churchwarden Talking to Rector