Church Extension Enthusiast Pillows

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"That's our new church mascot."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Pope Francis

Vicar

'Normally, I'd give a man in your condition six months to live, but we have a special this week on eight months!'

Priest getting stained glass glasses.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Please follow safe worship practices.

"It's the new church organ."

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."