Christmas Story Appreciator Gifts

Three wise men give gifts to Jesus and sign a Register of Donors.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Where were the wise women?'

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Nanki Poo

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Jack and the Beanie stock.

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'

Santa's elevator

'My dad, says you're not the real Santa. He said, you're just some fella off the dole.'

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

While Shepherds watched their flocks by night

"It's time we have a little chat."

"I'm getting a CAT scan after Christmas."

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

"If you kiss me I turn into a prince and if you lick him, well, you can’t really be hallucinating more than you are already."

Santa's Little Enablers

Santa Claus

"Well thank you very much! You've just woken the baby!"

Christmas Joy, Peace and Goodwill.

Twas 6 days before Christmas when Santa heard a ker-plunk! He rushed to the door, and found the ice cap had shrunk...

'Now you're older, we think it's time you knew that both your father and I and you are adopted.'

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"