Christmas Story Appreciator Gifts

Three wise men give gifts to Jesus and sign a Register of Donors.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Where were the wise women?'

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Nanki Poo

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Jack and the Beanie stock.

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'

Santa's elevator

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

'My dad, says you're not the real Santa. He said, you're just some fella off the dole.'

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

"It's time we have a little chat."

"I'm getting a CAT scan after Christmas."

While Shepherds watched their flocks by night

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

'Now you're older, we think it's time you knew that both your father and I and you are adopted.'

Twas 6 days before Christmas when Santa heard a ker-plunk! He rushed to the door, and found the ice cap had shrunk...

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

Christmas Joy, Peace and Goodwill.

Santa Claus

"Well thank you very much! You've just woken the baby!"

Santa's Little Enablers