Christmas Makeover Enthusiasts Pillows

A slim Santa emerges from slimming club.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

A Bedroom In The Middle Of Being Redecorated.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

Being Pampered.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

Advent Calender.

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

'They had a sale on electric green.'

Planner at work.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

Lady convincing her husband to have wallpaper instead of plaster.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'