Christmas Comedy Admirer Gifts

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Moses' Tablet

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Cat Burglar

Falstaff

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

Hamlet

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

Storm in a magic lamp.

Cheating Death.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

One Painting Says To the Other... 'Do you ever get that creepy feeling like they are watching you.'

"You inviting me to lunch? I don't know - after all - I barely know you!"

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'