Christmas Chaos Navigator Pillows

Father Christmas at shopping centre store guide - you are here ...and here...and here...and...ect.

Mother making popcorn string whilst her child eats the other end.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Signs of Stress

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

Having It All

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"I hope that wish list you just sent to Santa wasn't too big." "Our server just crashed!"

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."