Christmas Bird Lover Gifts

Seasons Greetings

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Polluted geese

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Knight feeding his kids.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Spring Training

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Murder in Apartment 6-K