Christmas Bird Lover Gifts

Seasons Greetings

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Knight feeding his kids.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Canada Goose Jackets

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Spring Training