Christianity Scholar Pillows

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"Well, we needed the rain."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Yes, all at once!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"You call this a constitution?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I've got writer's block."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'