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"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Don't forget to put the bin out, Dear."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"It's a play on words."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'Time to buy.'

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

Spontaneous Kombucha

'But you said to clean my room.'

Yoga To-Do

Meowlzebub

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

Crazy old clown cat lady.

"You're afraid of what?"

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

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'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

A Semicolon.

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Clown Watercooler