Chip Champ T-Shirts

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"So what brings you in today?"

Monkey casino study.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

"What setting do I use for this?"

'In the old days we used charcoal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'

A man carves a totem pole

"Careful...she bites."

"Love them rays, Chief."

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

OUT of ORDER

Sign on the door at Karate School.

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."

"Family game night rocks! Especially when the winner decides what his prize is!"

"The doctor will be in soon. Hang your clothes and any sense of modesty in the closet."

'...There's something about rescued dogs - they're just eager to please.'

Apple Kids

Suddenly, while shoving a stack of poker chips into the pot, Joe snaps an elbow ligament, and another poker athlete's career comes to a tragic end.

You know what sounds good right now? Chips.

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