Children's Birthdays Pillows

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"

"Billy, pulling my pigtail isn't what I consider 'networking.'"

"I can't believe it, Cruz! You and I are finally adults, in charge of our own lives, free to do whatever we want! I mean, no one forces us to celebrate our children's birthdays at Peter Cheeser Pizza, right?"

'Mud Again?'

'I tore my pants, Mom -- can you download a patch?'

'Actually, I'm not out foraging, I'm out porridging.'

Child pulling giant Hummer wagon.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Face painting.

"He likes it."

"Feel free to take notes."

Swinging on a star.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

The No No No's

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"When did she start crawling?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Piano Recital

Green Balloon

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'