Childhood Energy Manager T-Shirts

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

"He likes it."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Fitness Programme for babies

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

I rule by fear.

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

'And what pray tell do I do if the teacher asks me a question?'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

Old and young

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Three frogs watching their tadpoles.

'Keep an EYE on him for me.'

Energy Bills

"I think our solar panels are drawing in too much energy. I just plugged in my hair dryer, and I swear the sun dimmed."

Duel Fuel?

'I quit drinking coffee with lunch - it was keeping me awake all afternoon.'

"What can I say: It's nice to get away from the kids once in a while..."

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

'I've found your niche, Wilson. I'm transferring you to our day care center!'

'I don't know -- maybe we should check the fuse box.'

'We're pleased to announce we're doing a government study to find out just who regulates the electric industry.'

"Isn't that the chap we put in charge of the 'energy conservation'?"