Childhood Chaos Coordinator T-Shirts

'For heaven's sake, couldn't you have spelled it out?'

"I downloaded the Laugh Track app yo soften mom when I give her my lame excuse."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Great Therapy!'

Riding School Chaos

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Bears going water skiing.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."