Childbirth Myth Enthusiasts Mugs

Stork with a baby

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

In the club.

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

Womb for Kids

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Stork and baby

Ingredients: me

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

'Sign here.'

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

Chicken just laid huge egg.

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

'For the last time...turn that light off and go to sleep!'

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

Parents with Babies

Though initially enthusiastic about natural childbirth, the Millers felt their midwives took the concept too far.

Pediatric Unit - Portraint of founder - A Stork

"But if You create them in Your image, how will they tell each other apart?"

California Tooth fairy: 'IOU'.

"Sit tight, kid! You'll get your tooth money. Just as soon as we settle who had dibs."

'Sorry to break it to you folks, but someone at headquarters was throwing out some bathwater and...well...'

'Would the father like to gnaw through the umbilical cord?'

"Old age is tough. Granddad lost a tooth but instead of money from the tooth fairy all he got was a bill from the dentist."