Child's First Holiday Season Pillows

'A Very Bad Boy'

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"First class, or with children?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Christmas Pets

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Panettone

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!