Child's First Holiday Season Pillows

'A Very Bad Boy'

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"First class, or with children?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

Christmas Pets

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

Panettone

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'