Child's First Bed T-Shirts

'Under-the-bed monsters are pretty standard. We can remove it, but that'll void the lifetime warranty.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

Late night teddy reading

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Twenty-first century baby walker

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'At lone at last.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'A is for Arse.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"They look so young and helpless."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

Extra innings.

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

The modern generation!

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"