Child Development Geek Pillows

'I'm worried: He still can't balance a ball on his nose...'

"I do hope this doesn't interfere with my life plan."

"My special power is supervision."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Children's education

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"He talks the talk."

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Early childhood development

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Toilet Training

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

Proud mums.

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

Child development.

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

Maria Montessori

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

'I wouldn't worry. At that age they put everything in their mouths.'

"He's very smart. We just need to work on his focus."