Chicago Insiders Pillows

'You don't have to worry about who to vote for this year, but I'm from Chicago.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Lesser known greek gods,

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'We had to donwsize.'

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Fiscal cliff

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Carl Sandburg.

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'And who are you wearing?'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'These are our projected profits as capitalism self-destructs.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

The Filibuster.

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

"That's not how I had hoped they would promote my novel."