Chef Aspirant Gifts

'I'll never be able to cook like TV chefs, goodbye.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Will work for Food Network.

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Boy baking a cake.

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"The full partner look."

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'I don't usually deal with headhunters on jobs that pay $21,500.'

'Sure, who wouldn't want to be a secretary. Secretary of State.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

Competitions.

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'