Cheer Up Gift Gifts

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

"OK, now I'm having a bad day."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Picking pastries.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Men can show their emotions!

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

Football supporters.

"They'd sold out of #1's."

Solitaire card shark.

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'Red for me, please.'

"You got this, Nana."

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

'Stop whining...it's just a head cold!'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"For someone in the hospital, I'd recommend this arrangement -pleasant colors, a nice variety, and they all can be eaten for medicinal purposes."

"I don't need the glasses, I had 3D laser eye surgery."

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

Soccer Fans.

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

'To the only thing that matters - BASEBALL!'

'I'm sorry, Marvin, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

Go Team!

"I got the best gift ever! A phone call from my brother in Afghanistan!"

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Christmas postie!

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

Helicopter as a clothes drier