Checkout Chaos Navigator Pillows

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Signs of Stress

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Having It All

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Careful

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

Going to the pub with kids...

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

Working from home.

"Frank?"

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

'Oh my God! Call the Feng Shui expert!'