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Rat interviewed on a Sports Chatshow.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Lesser known greek gods,

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

The First Fire Stick

Stairlift around cliff face.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."