Chart Maestro Mugs

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Horti-Culture

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Hildegard von Bingen

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

Dynamite little combo

A baby playing on a grand piano

Orchestra conductor

Quartet.

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

Kultural K9's.

Violin Practise

A woman playing a keyboard

Malcolm Sargent

Edvard Grieg

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

'He's working on a lullaby.'

The Drummer

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Street Organ - Monkey

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

Woman throwing giant pot.

Painting

I will be Bach.

Sergei Taneyev

Cesar Franck

Ennio Morricone

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

Musical Eye Test