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"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Breakthrough

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Letter writing lady.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

Tango

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

Chasing Covid Variants

Discomfort zone.

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Octopus gets tickled pink

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

Footballer faced with a goal with football size holes in it with different scores at different holes

Cupid

You go ahead - I only chase classic cars.

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

Defying generations of failure, Terry finally achieved the Mountain Goat Dream of going vertical.

"I think we've met. Plushiefest? St. Louis? You went as Mr. Peanut, right? I was Nemo!"

'I want to look charismatic but sassy.'

Drinkers.

"....and look."

Reality, and lots of it!

Eddy Merckx

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'