Champion Of Machismo Pillows

'He was competitive to the very end.'

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

Macho Vegetarian

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Youngsters these days are spoilt,apart from the triple-bypass,five divorces,4 estranged children and cirrhosis working 80 hours a week never did me any harm."

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

House with Children - There's my toothbrush!

"Clothes, hell. It's the desk that makes the man."

"I missed the meeting on employee theft. What was the takeaway?"

"I'm saving my abstinence for marriage."

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

Ring tossing

A Day In The Life Of... Deflector Man

'We're paying you to network, not roam around getting laid!'

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

Please Help - Low Elf Esteem

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much ..."

'I'm a failure as a manager and husband.'

"'Macho Soap'! For the house husband who wants red, raw, rough hands!"

'The boys kicked me off the team, not cause I was a girl, cause I was too good!'

'You can always tell when Granny has had a good day playing bingo.'

'Do you remember my old classmate Bob? He was always honest. He worked like a dog and never was a tax dodger or a moonlighter and he never had debts. Last week, he was found starved to death in a subway tunnel...'

"Yes, it's a girls drink. But the fact that I'm an alcoholic makes it hardcore."

'He turned out hard boiled.'

"Racked with guilt, eh, J.B.?"