Chalkboard Scribbler Gifts

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

Information booth attendant solves equation

"This was Professor Brunzberg's office. He spent half his life trying to solve this equation and the other half he has spent wondering who actually cares about this crap."

'But I digress...'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'Anorak anoraks'.

When Cells Divide

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

'Tax.'

The History Teacher

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

Solve for x x r 2.

Will Self deprecation

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Musical Prodigy

Physics: Unified Theory. Luftkopf's work on string theory is all tangled up.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'