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"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

The Music Box

Fade to black...

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

'I need to start dancing to the beat of a different drum.'

Creepy Camp Stories.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

Skipping

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

The Old Elves Home

Anton's imaginary friend was always stopping and giving directions to imaginary strangers.

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

"Who knows the words to the theme song of the United States?"