Certified Financial Planner Pillows

"Still waiting for a response from compliance..."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

E.U. Banking Union.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

European currency on the edge.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'