Future Financial Planners Pillows

Seminar Today: Living an Active Retirement Lifestyle. I can't afford to retire. For the last forty years I've been blowing all my money on food, clothing and shelter.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Watering Money

"Three more years of high school."

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."