Ceremony Strategist Pillows

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Monk Prompt

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

The Aisle

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

Double Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

'Your ego seems to be your primary problem.'

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

SOARING BILL

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

Christening

The thinker Easter egg

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. Begin at the ninth.'

Mayor Gojo presents a keycard to the city to celebrity.

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'