Ceremonial Chuckler Mugs

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"The cookies are always stale."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

"You think I'm a loose canon, Don't you."

'Your honor, when considering sentencing please note that my client drove a hybrid car that gets 80 MPG.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'It's not a slip and it's supposed to be showing.'

'Well, actualy, yes... I do think I'm God's Gift to Women.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

Merry Christmas

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

There was certainly no arguing Defense Attorney Smith had a point.

'...and I promise not to make any rash promises...OOPS!'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

I can't talk now. She said WHHHAT?? Call me back in five minutes!