Cereal Critic T-Shirts

'One serving provides you with your minimum yearly requirement of sugar.'

"Rise & shine!" - Product 19

'Hold it - this one only has seven percent insect parts.'

'This has no fat, no carbohydrates, no sugar, no ribolflavin... hey this box is empty!'

The first six ingredients in this cereal are sugar!

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

"High in fibre, low in salt and saturated fats. Unfortunately that's the box, the cereal is full of all sorts of crap!"

Breakfast of champions

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

6 Brothers Falafel

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

View to the Future

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Rump roast?"