Ceo Aficionado Gifts

"Trade ya a Jeff Bezos and an Elon Musk for your Warren Buffett."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Meet the author"

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Two vegans, please."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Driverless cars rage.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'