Centering Practice Pillows

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Four children playing the flute.

Unguided imagery

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Cactus seats.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

My God, I need to fart.

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"Showoff"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Show off."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Enlightened Cursing

Peace. Love. Light

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

Amongst the rush.

'Did you try 'Google'?'