Censuses Pillows

"Do I report in daily or just once a year?"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

National Everything Awareness Day

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Trump Poutine

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

The Russian Election.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Joe Biden

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

Joe Biden

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Honest Voting Stickers

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

2016 election squabbles!

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Election 2020