Census Collector With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Now on sale at the Canadian House of Commons gift shop...

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

"Paper or plastic?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

First and last day as census taker...

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"There's only me, but if you can wait till Thursday week, there's a bloke in the mail truck!"

Fresh Blood In Politics

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Wayne. Wayne once sat in a bath full of jelly for 24 hours.'

Economic Errata

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

Misfortune cookies

'I hear they're going to cable.'

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

How about my dinner?

The Government's New Conspiracy Census.

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey

Hoping to soften its image, the IRS devises the singing audit-gram.

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

Your DNA on a Stick

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."