Census T-Shirts

'We'll be putting you in the 'crabby neighbor', demographic.'

Now on sale at the Canadian House of Commons gift shop...

"Not so much a 'Don't know' more a 'Couldn't Care Less'."

The Jeopardy of Progress

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

World Production.

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

Population rocket

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

The Problem with World Population Growth

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

U.S. demographic affecting senate representation.

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

First and last day as census taker...

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Aging population in Cuba

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

"There's only me, but if you can wait till Thursday week, there's a bloke in the mail truck!"

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

"I'm not taking cookies, I'm practicing my counting."

'On the bright side - the larger the population, the more people there'll be to support your cause.'

The 1960s, 50 Years Later

Football Countdown.

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

'An alarming trend, folks, by 3000 AD all Americans will be retired or in prison.'